Do This the Next Time You’re Depressed

Disclaimer: I am not a certified health professional. I have never formally been diagnosed with depression or anxiety. This post contains information based on my own experiences and what has helped me. If you are suicidal or need to speak with someone, the following list contains professional resources on how to get help.

Hotlines

National Hopeline Network: 1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433)

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA): 1-800-662-HELP (4357)

Colorado Crisis Services 1-844-493-8255

Therapy Services

Faithfulcounseling.com

Sondermind.com

Betterhelp.com               

Cerebral.com

There I was, laying in bed, sobbing uncontrollably. It hurt. It hurt so damn much. I had processed my emotions in a healthy way, but instead of feeling better, I felt worse. Depression was a heavy weight, like my skin was made of lead. My head hurt, my stomach was in knots, and my heart felt like it was being squeezed too tightly.

I scrolled on Netflix, hoping to appease my sadness with some ridiculous, reality dating show but I got about five minutes into Love Island before my emotions reared up within me like a cornered, feral animal and the tears started again. This wasn’t working. I thought about drowning my feelings with salt and sugar (binge-eating is another favorite way to cope), but even that didn’t sound appealing.   

I knew how the rest of the day was going to go. I was going to lay in bed, alternating between binge-watching tv, playing dumb games on my phone, staring at the ceiling, asking God the same questions for the millionth time, and crying into my pillow. I would stay up way too late because I was afraid of facing the emotions again when attempting to fall asleep, and end up having another sob sesh anyway when I finally surrendered to them. I’d wake up feeling almost hungover, from all the mindless – and yet, majorly overstimulating – consumption the day before.

Right when as I was about to spiral into my sadness, I felt a nudge, like a tiny hand being raised in a crowd of people. I’m here, I heard Holy Spirit say, come hang out with me.

I’m not going to lie to you, usually when I’m feeling this low I ignore God. It’s so much easier to feel sorry for myself and try to numb the pain rather than actually work through it. But for some reason on this day, I decided to give it a try. I flung out a quick prayer for strength and didn’t give myself time to hesitate. I pulled myself out of bed and guess what happened?

The day turned around. I went from hopeless and depressed to hopeful and grateful. With just a few actions, my mindset had completely shifted. This had never happened before on the scale it did that day.

I repeated this process each time I felt depressed going forward, and the results were always the same. What would start out as a bad day would end in peace, hope, and sometimes even a bit of joy. Once I figured out this life-changing formula, I knew I had to share it with you.

While it’s necessary to process emotions, they can get out of control and take over if we let them. Each of us has a personal threshold between processing emotions in a healthy way and getting completely overwhelmed to the point where we become depressed, anxious, and unable to do anything but hit the “Next Episode,” button on Netflix. When this happens, the emotions can bleed into the next day and the next, turning into habits, forming mindsets, and before we know it, we’re experiencing entire seasons of darkness. It might even go so far as to become our identity. You aren’t just experiencing depression, you are depressed.

Friend, if you are going through a hard time emotionally, I’m here for you. When you’re riding the turbulent waves of inner turmoil, it can feel so overwhelming and so hopeless. But I promise that hope is never lost, and you can pull yourself out of it, without numbing the pain in harmful and unhealthy ways.

Sometimes, you’ll be strong enough to execute the game-plan I’m about to lay out for you. At other times, you won’t be. That is okay. I have spent my fair share of days lying in bed. But on the days I’ve gotten out of bed, I’ve realized something. I am not my depression or anxiety or grief. And neither are you. You can and you will get through whatever you’re going through.

The next time you find yourself in that dark place, try this simple, but effective Five Step Formula:

Spend time with God

Self-Care

Get Out in Nature

Check One Thing Off Your To-Do list

Do Something that Makes You Happy

Before we dive in, there’s a couple things to note:

Getting with God is the most important step in the process and should be done first.

The next four steps can be done in any order, and some steps can be combined into one action. For example, getting outside can also count as self-care as well as something that makes you happy.

Spend Time with God

Get with God – immediately. This is single-handedly the most important step in the process. Stop what you’re doing and spend time with the Creator. Open the Bible app and do the five-minute devotional. Get out in nature and meditate. Put on a sermon or listen to worship music. Spend time in prayer. 

My favorite way to communicate with God is through hiking, but the day I was depressed, I had no energy for anything active. Instead, I did my Bible study. I spent maybe 20 minutes with God, and when I closed my journal, my mindset had completely shifted.

Did I feel 100% better? No, but I felt the peace and comfort that only comes from knowing Jesus. I was reminded that he is with me, he is fighting for me, and he is helping me through this process. I wasn’t experiencing this pain alone. I felt God’s love, provision, and protection.

My time with God got me out of my own head. Instead of spiraling out of control and going in circles, I was able to take my worries to God and give all the negative emotion to him. I felt both mentally and physically lighter afterwards. I realized that it wasn’t up to me alone to process these emotions. Jesus was right there with his hand out, and I took it.

God wants to help you through this. Give everything to him, trust in him, and he will give you the strength to get through it.

Self – Care

Self-care is such a broad umbrella, but I’m sure a couple things come to mind for you. Now is the time to check in with yourself and ask yourself what you need. Maybe it’s a physical form of self-care, such as working out or massage. Perhaps reading a book, drinking a cup of tea, listening to an uplifting podcast, talking to a friend, or doing a creative project are more your style. Whatever it is, it should bring peace, happiness, and leave you feeling better than when you started. After spending time with God, I went and got a chiropractic adjustment. This made me feel much better than laying in bed ever has.

Get Out in Nature

If weather permits, spend sometime outside. Try to go someplace quiet and secluded if possible. Being removed from the intense energy of society and getting in creation always improves my mood and reduces negative feelings. It helps clear my head and get back to my body, in the present moment. Even if being outdoors means sitting in the grassy easement next to the parking lot of your apartment complex, do it. Take off your shoes and do some earthing. This is seriously calming.

After my time at the chiropractor, I went to the beach. It was cold and windy, and the skies were overcast, but I didn’t care. I sat on the hard, damp sand, and watching the roiling winter waves build and crash. I began to notice all the little details of creation, and I was overwhelmed with awe.

How incredible is it that God created the earth for us to enjoy? Being at the beach reminded me how small my problems are and how great God is. Yes, your problems matter. Your emotions matter. But if God created the mountains and the sea and the stars and everything in-between, he can take away your pain and give you the strength to overcome any obstacle. Being at the beach reminded me what a gift life is and despite my deep heart-ache, I couldn’t help but feel grateful to be there on that beach and experience the wild and great beauty of creation.

Check One Thing Off Your To-Do List

Struggling with mental health affects my productivity. I never end up doing anything on those days, and then I feel even worse for being lazy. I’ve learned that it’s okay to rest on those days, but I’ve also realized that even if I do one small thing on my to-do list, I always feel better.

This action step will give you a sense of accomplishment and purpose. Whenever I’ve done this formula, I like to run an errand or two. I make sure that it’s something that isn’t super time-consuming or draining or will involve a bunch of people.

There’s always a million things we have going on, and I’m sure you can think of at least one thing right now that needs to be done. Maybe that’s making a phone call and scheduling an appointment, or mailing an Amazon return. Maybe it’s a chore or housework.

After the beach, I did some grocery shopping. It was simple but it reaffirmed that I am at least a semi-functioning human.  

Do Something that Makes You Happy

Obviously this is super broad and can be combined with any of the other steps, but taking action that will lead to positive emotions helps you get out of that depressed state. Doing something that brings joy will also remind you of all the good things in your life. You’ll be so focused on what you have that you’ll feel grateful. You’ll be so grateful that you take more positive actions and before you know it you’ll be on an upward spiral.

If you’re really down and don’t believe that anything can make you happy again, try writing out a list of all the things you’re thankful for. It will give you ideas on a step you can take to bring happiness back into your life. Grateful for your cat? Go snuggle with it.  Grateful for your mom? Give her call or go hug her. She doesn’t need to know why you’re crying. It’s fine.

After I went to the beach, I drove around the nearby town. I love that little beach town for a multitude of reasons and have spent a fair amount of time there. Memories came to mind as I passed certain stores and restaurants and I was grateful for all the experiences I’ve had there over the years. It was so simple and I honestly sat in a lot of traffic, but it made me so happy, regardless.

By the time I went to bed that night, I felt like a different person than the one who’d woken up that morning. I felt calm and stable. I felt empowered and grateful. I’ve often felt like a prisoner to my emotions, but that day taught me that I was in control. I did things that were healthy and productive. I felt God’s love and I was given hope. I knew that I’d get through this situation. Everything was going to be okay.

The next time this happened, I repeated the same steps. I spent time with God. I went on a hike. I did laundry. I watched a movie that made me laugh. And again, I was able to move forward. I didn’t feel stuck.

This happened again and again to the point where I realized that I had something here. Something that actually works. I’d found a balance between allowing myself to feel the feelings, but not get overwhelmed by them.

Everyone is different. You might find that doing one or two steps is all you can do. That’s fine! I’ve had those days as well. You might change some steps or find another action that really resonates with you. As I mentioned before, sometimes you won’t be able to get out of bed. Some days are bad days and that’s okay. I encourage you to keep trying. This took me years to figure out, so it’s never too late to make a change and try something new.  

Friend, I’m praying that no matter what you’re going through, you know that there is a God who sees you and who cares for you. He can take away your pain. He can sit with you in the pain. He can help you through the pain. He wants to help you, but he won’t force your hand. If you’ve been on the fence about Jesus, there’s no better time than now to ask him to be part of your life. Knowing him intimately and allowing him to walk with me through the dark moments has been the game-changer in my healing journey. Without God, I’m lost to turbulence of my emotions. With him, I can overcome any challenge. I have hope for my future.

If you would like to invite Jesus into your heart, it’s easy. Simply say this prayer: “Jesus, I accept you as my Lord and my Savior. I admit that I’ve sinned and have acted in ways that are against you. Please forgive me. Thank you for loving me despite my shortcomings. I want to know you personally, Lord. I invite you into my heart and my life. Please help me in my struggles and teach me how to live like you. Thank you for your grace and mercy. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

If you just prayed that prayer for the first time, congratulations! I’m so excited for you! Check out the “Faith” tab at the top of the page for more content on furthering your relationship with God. If you haven’t already, sign up for my email list! You’ll be the first to know about the latest content, and I have a special guide coming out that will walk you through the next steps in your faith journey.