The number one question I get asked about van life is, “You travel by yourself?”
The next most common question that follows, “Aren’t you scared of being alone?”
Sometimes followed by, “Be careful, it’s not safe for women to travel alone.”
Both men and women have said this to me, and while I know they mean well, there is a lot of ingrained fear behind it. Don’t get me wrong, I know statistically women are much more often attacked, raped, and abducted by men, versus the other way around.
But I stand behind the ever-growing belief that women are just as capable, strong, and fearless, as men, if not more so.
The rise of female equality is changing the patriarchal paradigm that society has been built on and it feels damn good to be part of a generation that is embracing our feminine power.
For me, living out of a vehicle and traveling the country solo is how I’ve risen above that societal conditioning. I don’t need a man or partner to accompany me on my travels.
Much of my empowerment and confidence has come from the journeys I’ve had in my van or SUV by myself. Having to rely on myself for everything when my environment is constantly changing, make all the decisions, and do all the work has grown me in ways I haven’t experienced anywhere else.
Overcoming feelings like loneliness and fear, really facing myself and looking deep within has been the most transformative part of traveling alone, and that’s why I continue to do it, and will do it in the future, even when I have a partner.
What’s also been eye-opening to me is how safe and good the world truly is.
There’s a big misconception that traveling alone as a woman automatically means I’ll get taken advantage of from one extreme to another, but from my experiences, the world is not as scary of a place as mainstream media would have us believe.
Almost every soul I’ve encountered has been nothing but kind, friendly, and helpful, no matter the gender.
There was only one situation out of all my adventures where there was blatant malintent and I actually could’ve been hurt. One.
I say all of this to encourage women to travel alone and to put things in perspective. However, I have also taken safety precautions every time I’ve traveled alone.
There’s no reason to be afraid of traveling solo just because you’re a woman, but you should be aware and conscious that not everyone has your best interest at heart.
These safety tips helped me feel comfortable, empowered, and confident during my travels and they will ensure you have the best trip of your life. These tips are geared more towards those who are living in a vehicle, but they can also be used in any and every travel situation.
Listen to Your Intuition
Honestly, the single most important tip is to use common sense and discernment in every situation by listening to your gut.
I like to call this Holy Spirit, that little piece of God in your soul who nudges you in a certain direction or shouts when something isn’t right.
Traveling comes with a plethora of experiences that put you in situations you won’t commonly find yourself in during regular life.
Some of mine include meeting strangers and going on adventures with them, stealth parking in a city I’d never been to before, and wandering the streets of Toronto when my phone wasn’t working and I had no internet or maps to guide me.
These situations may seem unsafe, or have an increased risk of harm, but I’ve always listened to Holy Spirit, and I’ve never been led astray.
Pay attention to your intuition. There’s a difference between being generally scared of the unknown, and a specific a place, person, or situation that is making you uncomfortable.
I camped out in the woods a lot this summer. I found spots that were far off the beaten path, and it was terrifying. My imagination went into overdrive visualizing all the ways I was going to die in the wilderness of Oregon. A cougar or bear mauling me while I was taking a bath in the river. An alien abduction. Or my worst fear, a crazed ax -murderer running rampant.
But I recognized this as general fear, not acute intuition telling me the spots I picked to camp at were unsafe. I trusted God to cover me and protect me, and every time I woke up to the shining sun, wondering what I was so scared of in the first place.
There was nothing more gratifying and empowering than these experiences of working through my fear.
On the other hand, on a sunny day at the beach in Pensacola, Florida, I was approached by a guy who hit on me and wouldn’t leave me alone. Holy Spirit whispered that I should leave and so I did, and he ended up following me to my van.
He banged on the windows and put his face up to them, trying to peek inside. Thankfully, he left after a few minutes, but this behavior rattled me, especially since it was in broad daylight and other people were in the parking lot.
By listening to my inner knowing, I avoided what could have been a harmful/unsafe situation.
Be Aware
Going off the first point, being aware in every situation is important. I kind of hate writing this, but don’t be a target. Don’t be that girl on her phone walking in the dark, half paying attention. I fully agree that as women we shouldn’t have to act a certain way in order for men (or women) to leave us alone, but it’s more about being smart.
Be aware of your surroundings and the people around you. Is there a guy at the coffee shop who keeps giving you creepy looks? Maybe he just doesn’t know how to control his hormones and act normal, or maybe he’s profiling you.
Does your vehicle stand out in the neighborhood you parked in? You could be more susceptible to someone breaking in and stealing your stuff.
When walking around in public, look confident and comfortable. Don’t be on your phone the whole time. If you are out alone at night, exude that vibe that tells people not to mess with you. Consider carrying pepper spray or a stun gun.
If you’re lost or need help, don’t look helpless. Again, use your intuition when approaching people who might help you. Don’t stereotype. Some of the kindest souls I’ve connected with were people who looked the sketchiest, and had I been stereotyping, I wouldn’t have ever even looked their way.
Back Into Parking Spots when Stealth Camping
If I’m in a city and stealth camping, I always pull backwards into a spot.
Being able to immediately pull out without having to take the time to back up enables you to get away much faster, and those extra seconds could save your life.
This technique actually did help me when I was in actual danger.
If you’re wild camping, ensure the road is drivable for your vehicle. Even when I camped in the middle of nowhere, I made sure I could go fast on the potholed dirt roads if I needed to.
Lock Your Doors
It’s one thing if you’re camped out with a bunch of nomads in nature, and it’s quite another if you’re stealth camping in a big city.
If the doors in your home-on-wheels don’t automatically lock, get in the habit of locking them as soon as you get inside.
This tactic saved my life. Time for a little story:
I was at a rest stop at night in eastern Idaho, maybe an hour from the Wyoming border. It was about 11pm. There were several other cars in the lot, as well as several trucks in the oversized lot.
I got out to use the bathroom and brush my teeth. As I walked to the bathroom there was a man walking out of the bathroom. He stopped when he saw me and stared.
I glared back, challengingly, because ya know, I’m all about the female power. (More than one person has told me that I shouldn’t have done that, but I don’t regret it one bit.) He kept walking.
When I was finished with the restroom, I walked back to my van, and I saw that I had unknowingly parked two spots away from the man. He watched me and continued to stare at me.
I got into my van, locked the doors and he was still staring at me. I had wanted to stay the night here because I was tired, but I felt like I should probably leave since this guy was being super creepy.
Instead, I ignored my intuition – which you should never do – and decided to pull out of the spot I was in and go to the end of the row, thinking maybe he’d leave me alone.
As I pulled away, the guy got out of his truck and stopped when he saw me pull away. He stared at me, looking confused. He was holding something blue in his hand, but I couldn’t quite tell what it was.
I backed into the spot, and hopped in the back, closing my curtains in time to see the man drive his truck around and park right next to me. I sat on my bed, looking at the man looking at me, thankful that the windows were tinted and he couldn’t see me.
I knew then I had to leave for sure. This guy wasn’t going to leave me alone and I didn’t feel safe trying to sleep here. I took a deep breath and hopped back into the front seat, starting the van up.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw movement, and I looked over to see the guy walking towards the van.
He tried to open the door. It was then I saw what he was holding in his hand. A blue women’s thong underwear.
Uhmmmmm wtf?!
I stared at him dumbfounded. Then I spurred into action, revving my vehicle out of the space. He jumped back and looked confused. Thankfully he didn’t follow me, and I never had another experience like that.
I thought about what could’ve happened had I not had the foresight to lock my doors. I could’ve been abducted, raped, or worse. And realizing just how possible that was in that situation made me all the more grateful for those door locks.
Which leads me to my next point…
Avoid Rest Stops at Night
Again, use your discernment with this as I’m completely biased.
Rest stops are well lit and small, meaning if you arrive alone, everyone can see that you’re by yourself.
I think that was the first mistake I made. When I got out of my van and it was clear there was no one else with me, it made me a target for that guy.
Looking back I’m honestly surprised he didn’t try to attack me in the restroom. That’s how much this situation shook me.
I’ve heard multiple stories about how the weirdos come out at night at rest stops.
While there are people around to see what’s happening, there is also a greater chance of running into someone like the person I ran into.
If you must go to the bathroom, do so at a gas station or if you can, inside your vehicle. Some may argue that gas stations are even sketchier than rest stops, but there are usually large travel stops right off the high way, where you’ll see families and elderly people among those who are filling up their tanks.
Again, just using discernment is key. I’ve pulled up to a gas station, only to feel nervous and literally drove across the street to another one.
So if rest stops aren’t the best place to sleep, where should you sleep? This leads me to my next safety tip…
Sleep in Hotel Parking Lots
When I was putting in miles across the country, I’d often stop driving around 11pm or midnight. I was tired and most of the time I knew I wasn’t going to stay in the city or town I’d stopped at. I didn’t want to stray too far from the highway since I knew I’d be back on it in the morning and finding a safe neighborhood to stealth camp usually took time.
Hotel parking lots are such a gem for quick overnight stops, and I was surprised that this wasn’t more of a well-known fact in the vanlife/nomad community.
This became my favorite way to camp when I wasn’t planning on spending time at the place I stopped at because it was easy, safe, and quiet.
What I liked to do was stop at a gas station and get all ready for bed – use the bathroom, brush my teeth, change into my pajamas, and turn down my bed.
I’d use the satellite setting on Google Maps to get an arial view of the nearby hotels. I’d pick one that was a chain brand that had a big parking lot with multiple entrances and the ability to enter without having to go past the front of the hotel.
When I entered the lot, I’d find a spot in the back of the hotel, and back into the spot. Since I was already ready for bed, I didn’t have to move around in the vehicle, possibly attracting unwanted attention. All I’d have to do is put up my black out shades and I was ready for a good night’s rest.
I never once was discovered or harassed while parking in a hotel lot, and I did this frequently during the first half of my van life trip.
This is a great way to get good sleep in a safe environment when you just need a place to crash for the night.
Keep Music Playing When You Leave Your Vehicle
My nomad friend Jay gave me this tip and I think it’s genius. If you have a supped-up Sprinter or vehicle that catches the eye of fellow nomads and random people alike, then there is a higher chance that your vehicle could be broken into.
If someone walks by the van and hears music playing, they’ll assume there’s someone inside, and that will dissuade them from messing with your vehicle.
Even if someone sees you walk away, if there’s sound coming from within, it will confuse them enough to wonder if there isn’t still another person inside the vehicle.
Truly genius, Jay, thanks for the tip!
Put a tracking Device on your vehicle
Another common question I get asked is, “What do your parents think about you traveling solo?”
Truthfully, they think it’s great! I think they’d worry if it weren’t for this big safety measure.
When my mom first asked if it would be okay if she installed a tracking device on my van, I rolled my eyes. But honestly, I’m glad she did that. I appreciate my parents so much and I’m thankful that they care so much.
If anything happened to me at least they’d be able to start with where my van was.
Or where to start looking for my body, as my mom morbidly puts it.
This is a great way to ease the minds of your loved ones because they’ll know where you are without harassing you about it.
It’s also been fun to discuss my journey with my loved ones because they can watch me move across the map on the app that’s connected to the device.
Tell Someone Where You Are
If tracking your vehicle seems too extreme, try keeping a trusted family member or friend up to date on your whereabouts.
That way if something were to happen to you, at least one person knows the last place you were, and where to start looking for you.
When I was in Canada, my mom asked me if I had been telling anyone where I was going when I’d been hiking. I hadn’t and she brought up a good point.
Since getting into outdoor activities like hiking, I’ve realized that it’s a bit reckless to go off into the wilderness alone without telling anyone. Even the most experienced outdoor enthusiasts can run into trouble, whether that’s injuring themselves or getting lost.
I realized that unless I carry a communication device (for hiking), there’d be no way for anyone to know if I needed help. I started letting my mom know where I’m going hiking – and I still do it to this day.
Put Out Positive Energy
I have a love-hate relationship with manifestation, which I won’t get into right now, but the last point I want to touch on is that your attitude matters.
If you believe that you’re safe, and cared for, and capable of handling any situation, that’s what you’ll attract. And if you’re scared of everything and feel unsafe and are up all night thinking of the worst things that could happen, that’s what you’ll probably attract too.
Trusting divine guidance will lead you on grand adventures. It’s okay to be scared, but don’t let that fear stop you from traveling solo. Don’t go into every situation thinking of all the bad possibilities.
You are a strong, bad-ass woman who can do anything she sets her mind to, including traveling solo. You got this.
Be prepared, be aware, listen to Holy Spirit, and enjoy the journey.
