I’m sure we’ve all heard the saying: rejection is protection, or rejection is redirection.

In the Christian world, this phrase is easier to understand in terms of God working in our lives, protecting us from evil, and redirecting us to what is actually for us.

I’ve always low-key rolled my eyes at this, feeling like it’s a cliché, a way to make you feel better about yourself, a balm to ease the sting of not being good enough for someone or something.

But the way my life has unfolded over the past couple of years has made me realize how true this statement is, and how God clearly is working in my life.

How rejection is truly protection and redirection, and how God has so much more in store for us.

In 2023 I experienced the most painful rejection of my life by none other than my ex-boyfriend. We weren’t dating at the time, or anything even close, but we’d reconnected (my decision) after years of no contact.

I was in the middle of my healing journey and felt it was time for closure, but having contact with my ex really just opened up a bunch of wounds that I had never really healed from.

My feelings for my ex that had resurfaced during our reconnection were old feelings. They were unprocessed. And truthfully, I don’t know if I would have ever healed the way I did had I not opened up contact again, because that was the trigger that brought everything up to the surface.

The emotions had been suppressed for so long, they needed to be brought into the light so I could process them and let go.

But being around my ex and seeing how much “he’d changed,” stirred up those old emotions and left me so confused, feeling like part of me still loved him and wanted to be with him again.

But then, the “great rejection,” happened.

Without going into too much detail, my ex made empty promises, and ended up ghosting me. This, along with some other actions, triggered trauma he’d given me during our past relationship, and it felt like I was experiencing those original wounds all over again, but twice as painful.  

There had been no real talk of choosing each other again, but it was rejection. And it hurt. I berated myself for falling for his bullshit for the umpteenth time, and it was hard not to be angry at myself for how I allowed things to unfold.

For an entire year, I struggled to fully let go of my current and past feelings related to my ex. Not only did I have to heal from the abuse that had happened years prior, on top of that I had to navigate and process wtf happened in 2023.

I knew that God had allowed this fresh rejection and heartbreak to deter me for good because this person wasn’t good for me. I kept repeating to myself that the rejection was protection because if I was feeling this hurt over something that really wasn’t that big of a deal, then I knew the chances of the abuse and old toxic patterns starting up again were very high –  had things continued between us.  

I also knew that this rejection was redirection. My ex was still going nowhere with his life. He’d been a deadweight when we were together. He was afraid of living life to the fullest, he didn’t have many dreams, and he held me back from mine.

And even in the midst of healing and hurting, God was giving me big dreams, visions of going to Korea.

Almost exactly a year after the “great rejection,” I was able to fully let go of my ex. I severed the soul-tie, I burned all the memories kept from our relationship, and I intentionally chose to move on.

Almost immediately, God gave me the green light to go to Korea. And a few months later, I did. And I fell in love. Not with a person, but with a country, with a people, with a culture so different from my own. It opened my eyes to the possibilities of life on earth, how many different paths we get to take, how many lifestyles can be explored, should we choose to listen and trust in God’s plan for our lives.

My time in Korea healed me in many ways, and I’ve come back to the states a different version of myself. And now, as it approaches the two year mark since the “great rejection,” I’m reflecting in total awe.

My life looks completely different now. I’m the happiest and healthiest I’ve been mentally in years, I’m fully living out the callings God has given me, and I’m preparing to move – yes, move – to a foreign country and start a brand new life there.  

When I think about how heartbroken I felt two years ago, how I struggled with loving someone who hurt me so badly, and how I fought myself on letting go, all I can say is, “thank you, God.”

That rejection was the final straw. I reminded me of how much I’d grown in the years since breaking up with my ex, how much work I’d done to get to that point, and that I wasn’t going to chase after someone who clearly couldn’t treat me the way I deserved to be treated.

I let myself grieve. I let myself feel all of the emotions I’d suppressed for years. I let myself go in circles, asking God why he’d allow the connection in the first place, and I asked the tireless question: how could I have such a deep connection with someone and love someone so deeply even though they abused me?

And then I let go. I trusted God’s protection and redirection, and now, my life is literally a world away from what it was before.

I thank God for this rejection because had it not happened, I can all too easily see what my life would look like:

Back with my abusive ex, settling for him, dealing with the same issues as when we were dating the first time, my self-worth back to zero, feeling disappointed and stuck in Colorado, in a life that never gave me true joy in the first place.

And most importantly, I’m sure that my ex would’ve continued to abuse me. Nothing would’ve changed. I would’ve been even more miserable than I was the first time around because I know better now, and choosing someone like that would have been the ultimate betrayal to myself.

But God.

But God loves me so much, that he kept telling me no, throughout the entire process of reconnection.

And then God allowed me to be rejected because he knew that that pain would wake me the f*ck up.

Had I chosen my ex, I would’ve chosen death.

The rejection protected me from death. And it redirected me to life. A brand new life that I’m so excited to start living.

Throughout this process, through the changing of seasons of my life, I finally found the answer to my question from earlier: how could I have such a deep connection with someone and love someone so deeply even though they abused me?

This happened so my life can be an example of what rejection really is: protection + redirection.

An example of what not to do when it comes to relationships. An example of God’s love and miraculous wonders.

I’m using this experience as an example of what can happen when you decide to trust God, when you decide to choose yourself, of what can happen when you heal from your trauma.

If you are feeling rejected, know that there is a bigger purpose behind it. I know that in the moment, what or who you’ve been rejected by might be what you want the most.

Believe me when I say, there is reason it’s not for you. God has bigger and better plans for you. I thought this is wasn’t true for the longest time. But ever since I surrendered this whole thing to God, everything has gotten better.

God has blessed me in ways I never could’ve manifested for myself and are a million times better had I chosen to just “follow my heart” and do what I wanted to do.

If you are feeling heartbroken, not good enough, confused about your future, have hope. There is a future that is brighter and filled with joy and contentment waiting for you. God is just waiting for your yes.

A final note: sometimes rejection is simply a sign that it’s not aligned right now. Stop trying to force it, and just surrender to the flow of life. I encourage you to turn to God and ask him for clarity and direction.

Sometimes God takes us in the roundabout way to get to the destination because more growing is involved so we can be ready for what God has for us.

But if God has given you a clear no, then let it go, friend. Let go, move on, and trust that what God has in store for you is better than anything you can imagine.