God Answers Prayers

I’ve come to learn when God answers prayers, they tend to look different than what I was picturing.

As I rattle off my prayers to God like I’m going over a shopping list (do not recommend this method btw), I project my hopes and dreams in a glitter-tinted glow, imagining the desired outcome down to the minute details that have nothing to do with anything at all, like my hair, for example: always perfectly styled in the way I can’t ever seem replicate in real life, despite my best efforts.

I usually finish it off with, “Please bless me if my desires align with your will, Lord.” I pretend he can’t see my true intent to control the situation, tucked into the corner of my heart like a child playing hide-and-seek who thinks hiding under the bed is genius.

When God doesn’t give me what I want within my timeline, or when he blatantly – albeit lovingly – tells me no, I spend an awful lot of time feeling sorry for myself.

Grace, my friends, is a wonderful thing.

As my relationship with God has deepened, I’ve grown up a bit. Instead of treating God like a magical genie who grants every wish, I’ve started to align my will with his. I’ve learned to hold it all loosely, – my dreams, desires, needs, and wants – trusting God to provide. As someone who excels at being a control freak, this has been no small feat. I’m often so focused on trying to manipulate the situation to work out in my favor while still technically obeying God, that I miss when he blesses me. It’s kind of embarrassing, really, but hey, you know what I always say: progression over perfection.

As I’ve shifted my focus from what I’m lacking to what God has already given me, and as I’ve surrendered control, I’ve noticed a pattern emerge. God does answer prayers. He does give me what I want. It usually just appears or shows up differently than what I was expecting.

I’m currently on my fourth nomadic journey in the last four years. This is an answered prayer.  

This journey is different from the others, as it’s the only one that has been so spontaneous. I didn’t spend months in anticipation, planning for this adventure. I didn’t even know I’d be taking what I’m calling an “extended leave-of-absence”, from my life until it simply happened.

You know those nights when you don’t want to cook and you decide to have a leftover smorgasbord? You take a bunch of random stuff from the fridge and throw it all on one plate and somehow it turns out to be the best meal you’ve had all year? This trip is like that. Bits of plans and pieces of ideas and a major airline fiasco all came together to create something beautiful: a new path for me to take.

After I confirmed it with God, I didn’t hesitate. I packed up my car and gave my notice at my job on the way out of town. There was no public announcement on Instagram. There were no goodbyes with friends or family. I just saw my chiropractor one last time (back pain, am I right?), dropped off my books at the library (who wants late fees?), and shed a few tears as I drove out of my congested suburb hometown, because I knew.

I knew this was an answered prayer, even if it was playing out differently than I had visualized.

For the past few months, I’ve been processing heavy subjects in therapy, memories I haven’t touched in a long time… or, like, ever. There has been revelation, pain, healing, discovery, and it has been a lot. I’ve struggled between what God’s calling me to do, and following my own desires.

I wanted to obey God this time. I’ve learned enough times what happens when I decide to do things my way, and I was choosing to follow God. But it was just so hard.

I knew that in order to obey God, I had to leave Colorado. It was too tempting to give in to my own wants if I stayed. In the dark nights full of tears I told God that if I was going to follow him, he needed to get me out of the place that was constantly bombarding me with reminders of the past, and filled with temptation in the present.

I thought about moving somewhere, but knew I couldn’t afford it. When God didn’t confirm a move, I figured that he was saying no. I thought about staying in Colorado and grew even more depressed as I knew I’d surely fail at this task if I did.

Then, this nomadic journey sprung up out of nowhere. I had no time to prepare. I didn’t even know how long I’d be gone for. But I could feel it. This was my out, and I took it.  It wasn’t a short two-week vacation. It also wasn’t a permanent move. It wasn’t even a journey that mirrored the ones I’ve taken in the past.

God answered my prayer. He took me out of Colorado. He gave me space to clear my head and continue to work on my healing without the distractions I was experiencing at home. He also gave me what fuels my soul the most – traveling.

The vibe of this journey is different. It’s less about adventure and fun, and more about healing and internal work. There’s less movement and exploration, and more stillness and settling into routine.

This trip is not my dream journey, but I’m incredibly grateful for it because it’s been uniquely tailored to my needs. It was made possible when I had no hope. It isn’t quite like what I envisioned in any of the scenarios that played out in my mind, but it has brought me relief, joy, and hope. It has given me the momentum I’ve needed to move forward when I’ve been feelings stuck for a long time.

This “extended leave-of-absence” is God’s way of answering my prayer.

This experience has brought me closer to God. He not only hears my cries for help, he actually shows up. This fact overwhelms me with gratitude. God cares. He didn’t leave me alone in my struggles. He rescued me in the way I needed it most. I’ve felt lighter than I have in months – okay, maybe even years – because of this answered prayer.

If you are struggling to believe God, if you feel like your prayers are going unanswered, let this story encourage you to keep asking and keep looking. God often answers prayers, they just might turn out differently than how we envision them. He is a loving Creator, and he will provide.

Look around you, at all the details of your life. Can you find the glory of heaven woven in amongst the busyness, the chaos, the pain? You might discover that some of your prayers have already been answered, just in a subtler way than you were expecting. Rejoice in the truth that you are being divinely cared for!

If you are still waiting on God, don’t give up hope. He will answer you. God’s timeline is not our timeline. He is working behind the scenes for everything to turn out good, both for us and for his glory. It might take longer than you want, but trust that he will answer.

Matthew 7:7-8 says: “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.” NLT

Keep telling God what you want. If it aligns with his will, he will give it to you. Even when your situation feels hopeless, know that God sees you. He hears you and he is right there with you. He might not deliver when we want or exactly how we want it, but he will show up. He will answer you.

I know that this trip isn’t a permanent move. I don’t get to run away from my problems completely. I will come back home at some point. But this trip has given me the pause, the break from reality that I so desperately needed in order to move forward and heal. This nomadic journey doesn’t exactly match what I was praying for, but the fundamentals are the same, and that is proof enough for me:

God answers prayers.

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